Forgiving Wife Despite Being Harassed, KH. Ma'ruf Khozin: Sorry, Mas, just find another path to heaven's door

 

Forgiving Wife Despite Being Harassed, KH. Ma'ruf Khozin: Sorry, Mas, just find another path to heaven's door

Reported from the Facebook page of KH. Ma'ruf Khozin , he commented on pieces of hadith in a poster that was spread on social media. The poster is entitled "The Advice of Shalihah's Wife To Apologize To Her Husband First". Uniquely, she added a note under the poster, "As long as her husband is like Assidiq ".

The following is the editorial of the hadith listed in the poster:

The Prophet SAW said: "Do you want me to tell you about your wives in heaven?" They replied: "Of course, O Messenger of Allah!" The Prophet SAW replied: "A loving woman is fertile. When she is angry, or treated badly or her husband is angry with her, she says: "Here is my hand on your hand, my eyes will not be able to close until you are satisfied."

Kiai Ma'ruf Khozin said that at first he was very happy to see the hadith on the poster and intended to show it to his wife. However, after he referred directly to the hadith in the books of hadith, and read the entirety to the syarah (explanation) of the hadith, he canceled his intention. Because it turns out that the poster only displays the last half of the hadith, while the beginning of the hadith does not.

Before mentioning the characteristics of wives and women of Heaven, in the hadith the Prophet first described the characteristics of men of Heaven. Here is the sound of the hadith in its entirety that the author quotes from Mu'jam al-Kabir by Imam Thabarani: 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: أَلَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِرِجَالِكُمْ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ؟ قَالُوا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، قَالَ: النَّبِيُّ فِي الْجَنَّةِ، وَالشَّهِيدُ فِي الْجَنَّةِ، وَالصِّدِّيقُ فِي الْجَنَّةِ، وَالْمَوْلُودُ فِي الْجَنَّةِ، وَالرَّجُلُ يَزُورُ أَخَاهُ فِي جَانِبِ الْمِصْرِ فِي الْجَنَّةِ، أَلَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِنِسَائِكُمْ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ؟، قَالُوا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، قَالَ: “الْوَدُودُ الْوَلُودُ الَّتِي إِنْ ظَلَمَتْ أَوْ ظُلِمَتْ قَالَتْ: هَذِهِ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَدِكَ، لَا أَذُوقُ غَمْضًا حَتَّى تَرْضَى

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "Shall I tell you about the man in Paradise among you ? The Companions replied: "Of course , O Messenger of Allah. Then the Prophet said : " The Prophet is in heaven, the martyr in heaven, ash-shiddiq in heaven, a newborn in heaven, and a man who visits his brother at the end of the land (because of Allah) in heaven. Shall I tell you about the women who live in Paradise among you? ? " They answered : "Of course , O Messenger of Allah. Then the Prophet said : " The fertile and loving one, who if she behaves badly or is treated badly by her husband , she says: This is my forehead in your hand , my eyes will not be able to close until you are satisfied." (HR. ath-Tabarani)

In addition to Imam Ath-Tabarani, the hadith was also narrated by Imam al-Baihaqi in Syu'abul Iman and Imam Abu Nu'aim al-Ashbihani in Hilyatul Auliya wa Thabaqatul Ashfiya with some differences in redaction, but the meaning remains the same. The law of the hadith is weak because there is a narrator named al-Sirri ibn Ismail. Imam Ath-Tabarani mentioned that the narrator was matruk (abandoned because he was accused of lying).

Furthermore, the Chair of the East Java MUI Fatwa Commission highlighted one of the categories of men who are experts in Heaven in the above hadith, namely as-siddiq . Then quote the explanation of Sheikh Abdurrauf Al-Munawi in his book Faidul Qadir which explains the meaning of the word as-siddiq :

(and friend) emphatically exaggerated form i.e. a lot of honesty for the street

As for (as-siddiq) is sighat mubalaghah, namely a man who is very honest and always justifies the Shari'a.

Then according to Kiai Ma'ruf Khozin, he felt he was eliminated because he still often lied and there were many Islamic teachings that could not be practiced. The chairman of the East Java NU Aswaja Center also said that there are still many husbands who have not fulfilled their obligations to their wives and many of their wives' rights have been wronged. Then should such a husband demand the right to continue to be forgiven for all his mistakes and injustices? He closed his writing with a very catchy answer , "Sorry Maszeehhh , just look for another path to heaven's door".

From this it seems that Kiai Ma'ruf wants to convey a message, although the wife is required by the Shari'a to obey and always apologize and forgive her husband, a husband is also required to be a husband who is honest, kind, and not unjust to his wife. Always justifying the Shari'a means obeying Allah and imitating the Prophet Muhammad. And Prophet Muhammad is the best example and husband to his wife.

The Prophet SAW said in the authentic hadith narrated by Aisha and Ibn Abbas:

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي

"The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of people to my wives." (Narrated by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)

Therefore, there is mutuality between the wife and husband . Both should love, respect, and forgive each other. Even if the husband is responsible, not unjust, and treats his wife well, then perhaps there is nothing for the wife to forgive. Finally, a sakinah, mawaddah, wa rahmah household is created that can lead them both to Jannah .

Wallahu a'lam..